warriorchicken:

I look like an extremely professional fashionable woman in an Abaya. It probably took me AGES to look this professional right?image

WRONG. I’m actually wearing my onesie underneath it and you will NEVER KNOW MWAHAHAHA

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Wanna know another secret? Even though i LOOK like I’m paying attention to whatever nonsense you are saying…..

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I AM ACTUALLY WEARING HEADPHONES AND LISTENING TO MUSIC

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  BAM!

(via night-lane)

61,964 notes
  • most girls: hair done up really cute, lots of makeup, designer clothes, hipster blog, thigh gap
  • me: no hair, glasses, scary beard, button up shirts and porkpie hat, cooks meth to provide for my family. i am the danger. i am the one who knocks
59,925 notes
explodingdog:

Go Forward
Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Floss.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows. 36 Things I Wish I Figured Out Sooner - Whitney Kimball  (via seabelle)

(Source: shessoprettywhenshelies, via night-lane)

76,147 notes

r0wdyruff:

help me, i am trapped

in a haiku factory

save me, before they

(Source: litlpup, via gentleman-panda)

212,164 notes
utter-fucktard:

If a 7 year old realises gender stereotyping is wrong and you don’t, something is very wrong with you.

the night vale fandom is my favorite fandom. seriously. have you ever looked at night vale fan art? ever seen night vale casually slip a comment into a post? they’re so fucking great. i appreciate that people appreciate night vale as much as i appreciate night vale itself. you are all weird, beautiful, jellyfish-like people.

0 notes

bonapartist:

so i was looking up stuff about birth control throughout history and

image

(Source: georgemallory, via gentleman-panda)

249,226 notes
thisishangingrockcomics:

so bored @ work i started doodling all these shit comics on business cards

anonynaila:

subvertcliche:

mello-dramatic:

Everyone who reblogs this will get the title of a book to read based on their bio/posts.

Everyone. I mean it.

THIS IS THE BEST POST

I HAVE EVER SEEN

EVER

they really do mean everyone

(via the-wandering-storyteller)

795,261 notes